Planet M Files

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Cheeks the Guinea Pig

August 17th, 2008 · 8 Comments

Cheeks the guinea pig is six years old.  He spends a lot of time in his tunnel.  He is currently writing his manifesto, on his laptop of course.  He is much too technologically advanced to stoop to using the lowly pencil and paper.  His plan is world domination.  It will be simple.  He already has the humans doing his bidding.  They spend ridiculous amounts of time and money trying to please him.  They purchased a tunnel made from natural organic materials for him.  It is not to his liking.  The tunnel must be large and it must be made of cardboard and it must be blue.  How can the humans expect him to keep all of his high tech equipment in a “natural material” tunnel?

He likes to mess with his humans with regards to his food also.  He has found that he can worry the adult female by running away from foods that the humans eat.  She worries that the lettuce may contain harmful bacteria when he runs from it.  Silly human, it is simply not his favorite brand.  The humans try to feed him cucumbers from their garden.  This is not acceptable.  Where is the flavorful wax coating?

One of his most inventive methods of controlling his humans was to lose most of his fur from the waist down.  He tried this a couple of years ago.  The humans spent a good amount of money bringing him to the vet and getting medication for him.  However, he decided not to use this method of control again.  The car ride was not so fun and his humans warned the vet that he tends to bite when annoyed.  The vet had the nerve to wrap him in a towel during the examination!

All in all, even if he doesn’t achieve world domination, it’s a pretty good life with his humans.  He has trained them well.

Tags: Pets

8 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Sadness // Oct 11, 2008 at 4:31 pm

    […] had to have our sweet guinea pig euthanized this morning.  He was my daughter’s pet.  We got him about one week before she […]

  • 2 Pet Parade Coming Wednesday! // Apr 29, 2009 at 8:50 am

    […] 99-44/100ths percent, but she presents some great photo opportunities!  Our sweet guinea pig, Cheeks, died at the very advanced age of 6 in October last year, but he is still in our hearts and in our […]

  • 3 Monkey's Momma // Aug 23, 2009 at 6:41 am

    I had a beautiful guinea pig that was slick and black when I was a teenager. His name was Rikki (as in Riki Tiki Tavi). I loved that animal.

    When a very tall friend dropped him while holding him, I had to take him to my grandpa to “take care of business”. I kept hoping and praying that he would be okay, but his insides were hurt too bad.

    Even now that I am a dog person, I still love guinea pigs!
    .-= Monkey’s Momma´s last blog ..Angels Among Us =-.

  • 4 Eleanor // Feb 14, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    I love the guinea pigs. I myself have 4 of them. We did rescue for about 5 years but our two youngest have disablities and their needs are very time consuming. They are great !!!

  • 5 Monday Memories: The Fiftieth! // Feb 14, 2010 at 11:20 pm

    […] of Cheeks in February 2004. He was my daughter’s guinea pig. Today someone commented on a post that I wrote about him a long time ago and he’s been on my mind ever since. I think about him often and even though we had to have […]

  • 6 Free Crochet Guinea Pig Patterns // Aug 16, 2010 at 8:46 am

    […] is a different color than the other four legs.  That is because my daughter’s guinea pig, Cheeks, had one front leg that was white, while his other three legs were black!  Cheeks was a very well […]

  • 7 Cami // May 16, 2011 at 7:58 pm

    Thank you so much for this wonderful pattern, I’ve always wanted a guinea pig, but my parents always say no. This way, I can have them with no mess! 😀

  • 8 Aimee // Jun 28, 2011 at 10:31 pm

    That is a really cute guinea pig! I also have one with one foot brown and all the others white. I love guinea pigs I think they are so adorable. Thanks for the patterns.

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